User:Soupperson1/LEGO's secret communist society revealed!

by Soupperson1
April 1, 2016. Last updated April 3, 2016.

LEGO's secret communist society revealed!

Communists have been secretly brainwashing children through LEGO for over 30 years! Discover the hard evidence with your eyes so that you too can look at the truth!

Aryan race[edit | edit source]

To combat the original "Aryan race" of blond hair and blue eyes, LEGO have been secretly promoting brunettes as each of the major themes protagonists for half a decade.

Even LEGO has been fond of licenses with brunette protagonists recently, such as Scooby-Doo and Minecraft.

And what major franchise has had brunette protagonists after LEGO achieved the license?

Even blond characters such as Captain America, Shaggy and Elizabeth Swann have all been given light brown hair by the LEGO group.

The one year LEGO did not have a brunette protagonist was 2013, that's right 2013! They knew the year would be unlucky and children would not pay attention to their propaganda, so they gave Laval red hair.

LEGO and the history of communism[edit | edit source]

If you haven't noticed, recently LEGO has been buttering up their relationship with Germany. A German minifigure series will be released this year. And who invented communism? A German! Now flash forward to the 1900s in Russia. It's pretty much being controlled by Rasputin who he believed had "magic" powers, what does LEGO love? Magic! If it's Elves or Castle, magic will work it's way into LEGO somehow.

The colour red[edit | edit source]

The colour red has been used heavily in advertising LEGO. The colour is used prominently in Classic sets, despite being one of the more costly colours to produce. City loves fire and hospital sub themes, which both promote the colour red (thus advertising communism). The protagonist of BIONICLE is Tahu, who is bright red in colour. Kai and Macy also share the iconic communist colour. Heck in LEGO's newest licensed theme, Angry Birds the protagonist is called Red!

Castles?[edit | edit source]

Look at it!

Yes LEGO has made a few castles in the past, some would think this is viewing the government in a positive light! Wrong!

The castles from the Disney Princess theme, have been increasingly getting worse and worse. The sets bare little resemblance to the films their featured in and the LEGO group knows this. They want parents to look at these sets and be like "These sets are not good, let's buy a Friends house instead", knowing this will make little girls hate the government!

You may be thinking now Nexo Knights and Elves has had castles too and they're pretty rad! Wrong!

The whole purpose of 41078 Skyra's Mysterious Sky Castle is escape from it. The Nexo Knights castle has wheels, so kids can roll away the government.

The other two castles are for villains, showing the government is evil!

The castle in Angry Birds doesn't hide the fact at all, it has the common birds trying to take down the rich pigs' castle.

From LEGO Island to The LEGO Movie[edit | edit source]

In 2008, Michael Toland discovered the secret truth that LEGO's first foray into video games, 1997's LEGO Island, was a piece of Communist propaganda. LEGO Island is ruled by a red-wearing man called the Infomaniac who spends his days looking over a red map. The INfomaniac bears an uncanny resemblance to Joseph Stalin.

Toland continues to investigate socialist scumminess present in LEGO Island, realizing that a major aspect of the game is building vehicles. "I remember I built a totally awesome jetski only to see some jerk driving it around a few minutes later... Although I suppose it wasn't my jetski. IT WAS THE STATE'S!"

Furthermore, two of the game's playable characters are police officers who keep their sole prisoner, The Brickster, in a tiny cell without adequate food, shelter, or living conditions.

However, most darning of all is "comic sans was used in the game, the pure form of communism."

Toland's report concludes: "This callous treatment of the enemy of the state, combined with de-emphasis on personal property (many a time I would just walk up to a vehicle and take it, no questions asked? Pepper's trademark skateboard became Nick Brick's trademark skateboard many-a -time, and there was that jerk who took my jetski!) and the motif of the red as well as other elements that I can't show you in picture form (the propaganda coming from each car radio) and we have quite the communist state on our hands..."

LEGO Island was not just a misguided college-aged fluke, however. Toland went on to unveil the immoral lifestyle encouraged by LEGO Alpha Team, but was silenced before he could share his findings on LEGO Racers and shortly thereafter disappeared. Is it coincidence that the BIONICLE franchise stresses virtues of unity, duty, and destiny? Bloxipedia thinks so. Fox News also demonstrates beyond reproach that The LEGO Movie is a communist masterpiece:

Perhaps this seems shocking at first, but it really should not come as a surprise to anyone that a toy company like LEGO is working to subvert the foundations of capitalism. The same goes for Mr. Popper in It's a Wonderful Life; would a true villain rescue all of those penguins?