Brickipedia:Articles for Rating/Class 1/70702 Warp Stinger

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  • Nominated by: User:CzechMate/czech 04:19, February 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I did a major description of the set, background, and added a description from the GS website. If you are opposing it due to length, please remember 5969 got c1, and that isn't extremely long. - Czech

Vote score: ±0, Technical Check: Currently OK[edit source]

Support
Object
  1. Crown Knights.png It's got some confusing sentences, about twice as many commas as it needs, run-on sentences...and per Cligra. Jeyo Lord VladekTalk The Forge 06:57, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
    Please point out where and I am happy to fix it.--User:CzechMate/czech 06:59, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
    I've replied in the comments. Jeyo Lord VladekTalk The Forge 07:31, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
Technical MoS Check (QCG members only)
  • Needs prices in infobox Crown Knights.png NovaHawk 05:45, February 12, 2013 (UTC)
    • Several are unavailible, therefore, unable to add. --User:CzechMate/czech 05:47, February 12, 2013 (UTC)
Comments

I can't bring myself to oppose, but I definitely won't support until these issues are dealt with:

  • Short lead section that doesn't say much.
  • Spelling and grammar errors.
  • The description is really just one big block of test... Paragraphs, and perhaps pictures?
  • I feel the description for the Warp Stinger could be much longer, but I suppose that's more of a difference in writing style than anything else.
  • Uncaptioned images in gallery
  • Not all prices listed (I haven't checked, but I'm fairly certain all the prices should be findable on LEGO.com?)
  • I would fix some of these myself, but I'm lazy. (oh wait, that's an issue with me...) User:Cligra/Sig

@Czech For starters,

  • the lead section should list the minifigures and vehicles included. Moving the section "general" to the lead section (with some modifications) would be fine.
  • In the speeder section, the term "main gun" gives the impression that there is only one, when there are really two.
  • The sentence that describes the wings and the area around them could be refined and separated; it's currently something of a run-on sentence.
  • There isn't a "wheel guard" on the speeder. Maybe the piece described was used for that purpose in other sets, but the speeder has no wheels.
  • It could also be stated which wing has the team logo and which has the GS logo.
  • The phrase "one-piece seat piece" is also a little odd, as is "with split-level plate".
  • "A two one by two bricks" should be made intelligible.
  • "The front of it features a cover piece, with a red line." No comma is needed there but more information on this "line" is. Where on the "cover piece" is it? What direction is it going?

This textwall is going to get pretty big if I continue, so I think you should proofread and refine the article by looking at it from the point of view of someone who has never seen the set before now. The above only covers the lead section and the speeder. If you'd like, I can continue with the Warp Stinger... -- Jeyo Lord VladekTalk The Forge 20:26, March 23, 2013 (UTC)

    • Handy hint- Jeyo's textwall about sums up my "spelling and grammar errors" complaint. -Cligra
  • Re-worked the article, should be good now. --User:CzechMate/czech 08:50, March 15, 2013 (UTC)

X mark.svg Not Done. C3 given. -- Jeyo Lord VladekTalk The Forge 00:04, July 24, 2013 (UTC)

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